Why One Night Stand?

You guys might asked why I always have one night stand and not a committed relationship. Although I have someone now who I could be in a committed relationship with, but I find myself resenting him, not trusting him, and scared of committing our relationship to a further stage -- marriage. Although down deep in my heart I still hope that I can be involved in a committed, loving relationship.

I have not been romantically involved with anyone since my last relationship. Of course I don't expect myself to put on chastity belt until I meet my Mr. Right. I can't imagine having to masturbate to fulfil my sexual desire. I did dated few guys before I entered to this one night stand holic. Maybe I am not as lucky as girls outside there...

Almost...

Sorry folks, for my long disapearance from blog coz I almost ended my one night stand life. Yes, you are right, I almost getting married but I chicken out last minute. I dont think marriage life is suitable for me. I kept on asking myself for last few months, why I wanted to get married. The first answer popped up to my mind is.. ehemmm.. of coz is SEX!! I had tried sex with countless men before and different kind of sex positions.



Then why I need a permanant man for sex if I can get it from different men??

Just wanna get intimacy from a man or just to get someone to accompany me? I think if I really want to get married, I want to marry to someone who can provide me a better life, ya man, a rich old man to get married to, who doesnt want that? Dont have to work like a dog, dont have to wake up at 7 am in the morning in the cold morning, dont have to drive in massive traffic, dont have to face the stupid boss face who only say yes for whatever my suggestions is..

Of coz, the reason to get marry is not for love, although I am slightly attracted to him, I dont know whether I love him or not, but for sure, he s crazy of me, but this is not a good reason to get marry, not yet..

So, good news for you guys, my hunt for one night stand still on going, will post it up soon!!

My First One Night Stand

The very first experience was a payback for being abandoned by the irresponsible man. The prey was someone I knew from internet for few months and we decided to meet up.

Although I expected the ONS will happen, but the first time of ONS make me feel like a virgin (again!) as I don’t have much sexperience and he is the second man in my life after that irresponsible man.

The experience wasn’t as bad as I thought, the ONS had dragged to many many nights stand and last for almost 5 years. I thought he is the replacement after the irresponsible man but time proved that I am wrong, a mistake that worse than decided to have ONS. He is just hanging around me and didn’t show interest to have further commitment and finally I gave up, it’s time for me to leave him.

It reminds me one sad song that I heard before, it is quite similar to me, this is the lyric of the song:

On the quiet street in the city
A little old man walked alone
Shuffling through the autumn afternoon
And the autumn leaves reminded him
Another summer's come and gone
He had long lonely nights ahead waiting for June

Then among the leaves near an orphan's home
A piece of paper caught his eyes
And he stooped to pick it up with trembling hands
As he read the childish writing
The old man began to cry
'Cause the words burned inside him like a brand

"Whoever finds this, I love you
Whoever finds this, I need you
I ain't even got no one to talk to
So, whoever finds this, I love you!"

Well, the old man's eyes searched the orphan's home
And came to rest upon a child
With her nose pressed up against the window pane
And the old man knew he'd found a friend at last
So he waved at her and smiled
And they both knew they'd spend the winter
Laughing at the rain

And they did spend the winter laughing at the rain
Talking through the fence
Exchanging little gifts they've made for each other
The old man would carve toys
And the little girl would draw pictures of beautiful ladies for him
And they laughed a lot

But then one day on the first of June
The little girl ran to the fence... the old man wasn't there
And, somehow she knew he was never coming back
So she went back to her little room
took a crayon, And wrote

"Whoever finds this, I love you
Whoever finds this, I need you
I ain't even got no one to talk to
So, whoever finds this, I love you!"