New Vocabulary in Malaysia Dictionary

An apple a day, keeps the doctor away.

Learn a word in a day, help you improve your vocabulary, especially in current political situation in Malaysia.

1. 1. He was issued a warning letter for dollahing during the meeting. (You dollahed well last night? lol..)
   
   
2. 2. They put all the evidence in a box and altantuyaed it so that no one could get access to the sensitive information.
   
   
3. 3. The epileptic was writhing on the floor and shaberying in the mouth.
   
   
4. 4. Your honour, this is a classic doublemuhammad. My client is not conversant in the language of that country and thus did not know that he had broken the law. (doublemuhammad = MCA = shoe polisher)
   
   
5. 5. At first there was peace until someone dastardly decided to turn sonofkoyakutty. From then on the world has never experienced justice. (is this relevant to Augustined?)
   
   
6. 6. I am not a power broker and I object to anyone calling me a triplecorrect. (triple korek to be more precise, lol)
   
   
7. 7. Why are you giving all these evidence? They are simply not Augustine to the case.
   
   
8. 8. Ladies beware, there is a pekanman on the loose. (Beware of pekanman or u will be altantuyaed)
   
   
9. 9. The real power in the firm is not the CEO. Yes, I agree, the firm is being bigmamaed by someone sinister.
   
   
10. 10. Although the organisation is supposed to be run by a team of people, the reality is that it is umnoed by only one person. (monopoly? bribe? or interchangable? lol)
    
    
11. 11. This is the 21st century, your thinking is too beeanned (BNed) and therefore obsolete.
    
12. 12. His kayjayness is the real cause for his downfall.
    
    
13. 13. I never knew you are such and MCA, you just do whatever he asks. (or MIC)

Read katataknak full article here .

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916 - The Brand New Hope of Bangsa Malaysia

Relax and calm down and counting the day to 916, Malaysian new hope to New Malaysia. I really can't bear the disappointment if 916 fails, post these up to entertain us, to get away with the tense of current political situation.

Instructions for new Drive-Through ATM
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

"Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.


After months of careful research, MALE and FEMALE procedures have been developed.

Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender:

MALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.


Gender discrimiation isn't it? but frankly speaking, even when I was driving on the road and noticed a car driving too slow, I will assume it s a women driver!!

Reasons Why I Do Not Want To Get Married

REASON NO. 1
Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband : "Nothing."
Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."
Husband : "I was looking for the expiry date."

REASON NO. 2
Wife: "You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?"
Hubby: "When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears."
Wife: "You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?"
Hubby: "Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?"

REASON NO. 3
Stress Reliever Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden."
Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."
Girl: "Well that's because we aren't married yet."

REASON NO. 4
Son: "Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady."
Mom: "Well, you have done the right thing."
Son: "But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap."

REASON NO. 5
A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!"

REASON NO. 6
Girl to her boyfriend: "One kiss and I'll be yours forever..."
The guy replies: "Thanks for the early warning."

REASON NO. 7
A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy
body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor!"

Just For Fun

How To Get Your Salary Increment?

It's a new year and you had been appraised by your superior but yet to get your salary increment, what you going to do? This is a sample of letter you can write to your boss :

Dear Bo$$,

In thi$ life, we all need $omething mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding the need$ of u$, employee$, who have given $o much $upports and $ervice$ to the orgrani$ation.

I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.

Your$ $incerely,

Nomani $mith


And guess what, this is your boss reply on your request :

Dear NOmani,

I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has been changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well yet.

NOw, newspaper indicates world's leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the country may fall into aNOther recession. I wish it will NOt happen soon.

I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.

Yours truly,

MariNO PoNO

11th Husband

A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband,

"Please be gentle, darling. I'm still a virgin... ".

"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

"Husband #2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was suppose to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

"Husband #3 was from Field Services; he said that everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

"Husband #4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

"Husband #5 was an Engineer, he understood the basic process but he wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state of the-art method.

"Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

"Husband #7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.

"Husband #8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it.

"Husband #9 was a Gynecologist; all he did was look at it.

"Husband #10 was a Stamp Collector; all he ever did was........ God I miss him so much.

"But now that I've married you, I'm so sexcited".

"Wonderful", said the husband, "but why?

"Coz you're with the GOVERNMENT.. This time I KNOW I'M gonna get SCREWED."

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