Saturday, April 28, 2007

Vacancy

In line with expansion of my ONS experiences, cheeky_me seek for candidates who fits below requirements :

1. Must be a man
2. Age above 30 years old


Special Requirement of ONS Partner
1. Above 175cm of height
2. Not more than 75kg of weight
3. Attractive outlook
4. Good skill in 69 position
5. A good teaser
6. At least 6" long (hmm... u guys know wat i mean here)






Special Requirement of Husband
1. Brave
2. Intelligent
3. Gentle
4. Polite
5. Energetic
6. Nutty
7. Industrious
8. Sensitive
And if all else fails, well….. read the CAPITAL LETTERS only.


Pls enquire within.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Shower Test










When you step into a shower, which part
of the body do you wash first?

Please select a body first?

A. Chest
B. Face
C. Armpits
D. Hair
E. Privates
F. Shoulders
G. Others



Now Scroll Down To See What Your Answer Means.



























A. Chest:
You are a practical person. Straightforward and do not beat around
the bush. To you, convenience is of paramount importance. You hate to
be distracted when concentrating and are impatient with people who
do not see things your way. A good sex partner and willing to try new
things. Your best partner in life will be those who choose D (Hair).





B. Face:
Money is important to you and you will do anything to get it.
Integrity and dignity is not important. You feel that friends are
there to be used and life is one big hassle. Other people find it hard
to understand you, but you are not concerned as to what they think.
Very self-centered person. Average sex partner as too selfish and
tend to be absorbed in self pleasure at the expense of your partner.
Your best partner in life will be those who choose E (Privates)
and G (Others).






C. Armpits:
You are a dependable and hard working person. Generally very
popular person as you are very down to earth and willing to help
others. Tend to get yourself into trouble as you cannot tell whether
people are genuine towards you. Make very poor sex partners as you
are the working type with average talent. Your best partner in life
will be those who choose F (Shoulders).






D. Hair:
Artistic type. Daydreaming is your hobby, but you can achieve what
most other people cannot. Dedication is lacking, but you will work
tirelessly towards goals which are to your liking. Money is not
important. Friends are but only intellectuals and fellow artistic
types. Make the best sex partners as you are most willing to explore
and please ther other partner. Talent is your main strength. Your best
partner in life will be those who chose A (Chest) and E (Privates).






E. Privates:
Shy type. You lack self confidence and tend to be bullied by others.
You do not have lots of friends as others find you boring and
unattractive. Perserverance is not your strength and you tend to give
up easily and at the first opportunity. However, you make an above
average sex partner. You are able to show your true emotions to very
few people. Hence in sex, you find your inner strengths. Your best
sex partner in life will be those who choose B (Face) and D (Hair).



F. Shoulder:
A born loser. You fail in everything that you do. People dislike you
and you tend to spend your time alone. Your type have been known to
be heavy gamblers and drinkers. You see the world as a livin hell.
Money and power is also important to you. But your luck will always
fail you. You make a lousy sex partner. You will find it difficult to
find a partner in life. Those who choose C (Armpits) are your
only chance.



G. Others:
You are a very average person. Undoubtedly, you have your inner
strengths, but people find it hard to see. You must learn to be a little
bit more adventurous and see your potential. Deep down, you are very
likeable person with very few faults. However, the key will be to
make your strengts stand out and not just hide you weaknessess. You
are an average sex partner. You have great fantasies about different
techniques, but unfortunately are not brave enough to try them out.
Your best partner in life will be those who choose B (Face).

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Pulau Perhentian Trip


Lazing all day in the hammock



Walking barefoot along the soft white sandy beach and crystal clear aqua blue water



It's raining
It's pouring
The old man is snoring
Bumped his head
And he went to bed
And he couldn't get up in the morning



The water taxis with no biz, just lying restlessly at the seashore

Monday, March 26, 2007

8 Types of Guys Women Avoid

Do you have a feeling that no matter how hard you tried but you still failed to impress the opposite sex? Have you ever wondered if the way you act makes women cringe? Have you ever worried that your behavior might be making them run in the other direction? Here are the tips for you guys, 8 types of guys that woman try to avoid (‘siam’ as far as she could)

1. The Needy Type
He has no confident on himself and relationship. He needs to reassurance about his companion feels for him and sometimes seems like a desperado. A woman found confidence and independence are sexy traits that attracted her, she needs security, she needs a shoulder to cry on, not her shoulder for the guy to cry on, so keep all these for yourself and don't reveal it until your relationship is stable.

2. The Arrogant Type
Guy with huge ego will definitely turned her down. A woman always observe and guy's personality from the way he treated other people. So even though you treated her well on date doesn't mean that she is fine with your arrogant, watch out!

3. The Boorish Type
How do you feel when you courting a woman and she kept staring at the handsome guy next to you in your presence? Irritating isn’t it. Same with the boorish guy, he doesn't try to hide the fact that he's checking out other women while in her presence; In facts, he flirts with any woman he met, the waitress when you were having dinner with him, the florist when he was buying flowers for you, his lacks of respect to woman is intolerable. Flirter cant restrain this kind of behavior permanently but at least on the stage of wooing woman, please don’t act like Valentino.

4. The Cheap-skate Type
I met this kind of guy before. We went to the hotel for one night stand and guess what, we go dutch for the room!! Oh man, he is disgracing his own species! Or maybe I am nor worth for him paying for me, sob... sob…
I am not complaining that I have to pay for my share but at least show the appreciation and be gentlemen mah. Yeah, guy is the one who did most of the hard work but sometimes I was at top did the hard work too and BJ service given not bad oso

5. The Self Righteous Type
This guy is hypercritical to others. He probably do not have any bad habits, and he does not hesitate to tell others to follow suit. Since you first meet withhim, he had criticising you from head to toe, and telling you that you shouldn’t do this, you shouldn’t do that.

6. The Arguer Type
As Chinese saying, 'Yin Kar Lou Chak', mean that enemies are bound to meet on a narrow road, one can't avoid one's enemy, this guy can turn every conversation into argument, what ever issue brought up will ended with arguments

7. The Predictable Type
Definitely a boring guy, there is no excitement in his life, everything is pre-set and predictable, he is living in a formula that created by himself and I tell you, you will get bored til you die

8. The Misogynist Type
He has no secret of his bitterness against woman, especially his ex, ex-ex and ex-ex-ex. Woman can't blame him for his misfortune but keep it to yourself when you are alone.

Even if you are one of the guy mentioned, don't stress out too much, as chinese saying, beauty is in the eye of beholder, don't worry too much, just keep this female unfriendly behaviours to minimum, and wish you all the best

Monday, March 19, 2007

Get Ready for One Night Stand

1. Keep yourself clean and hygienic, especially hairs, upper and lower. Shaved whatever need to be shaved and wash whatever to be waished.

2. Please wear matching bra and panties, just imagine when he gets turn on and drop your clothes and saw teddy bear panties with yellow polka dots bra

3. Bring along condoms with you. Don’t listen to the guy’s bullshit, less pleasure with condom? Go to hell!! Practice safe sex for your own sake

4. Relax and enjoy it my dear!! It’s just sex and you don’t have to commit anything, relax and enjoy every moment of it and moan as loud as you want to, sex is supposed to be pleasure and fun

5. You not fat stupid!! Don’t worry about your tummy or your cellulite, you had turned him on, why you worried of tiny part of your body?? Just be confident of your outlook and work hard to get the pleasure

And last but not least

6. Do remember his name other than uttered “oh my gawd”, “oh yeah””harder hun”, even tho you called the wrong name when you climax, they won’t mind, but for the courtesy of his hard work, at least know his name please and

7. If there’s a chance for one night stand blossomed to further relationship and you want to give it a try, get his farking phone number and call him the next morning!!

Good luck yea!!

Sunday, March 11, 2007

How many calories you can burn in a day???


pssst... FYI, this is Italian Chandelier style


Taking off the clothes:
-With her permission: 12 cal
-Without her/his permission: 166 cal

Taking the bra off:-With both hands: 8 cal
-With one hand: 11 cal
-With one hand being slapped: 53 cal
-With the mouth: 91 cal (impossible for me to do it)

Putting on the condom:-With erection: 6 cal
-Without erection: 335 cal (this is a bit difficult, but can try)

Preliminaries:-Trying to find the clitoris: 14 cal
-Trying to find the G spot: 107 cal
-Without giving a damn: 0 cal

Positions:
-Missionary: 13 cal
-Doggie-Style: 19 cal
-69 lying down: 20 cal
-69 sanding up: 137 cal
-Hostess trolley: 223 cal
-Italian Chandelier: 934 cal (refer to picture above)

Having an orgasm:
-Real: 115 cal
-Fake: 404 cal (this is easy job)

Post orgasm:
-Staying in bed: 5 cal
-Jumping off the bed: 30 cal
-Explaining why you jumped off the bed: 894 cal

Getting the second errection:
-Between 16 and 19 years of age: 14 cal
-From 20 to 29: 36 cal
-From 30 to 39: 97 cal
-From 40 to 49: 376 cal
-From 50 to 59: 919 cal
-Over 60: 3623 cal

Putting on the clother:
-Quitely: 4 cal
-Hurriedly: 99 cal
-With her husband/wife opening the door: 5190 cal

Mean that I ll burnt about 11,744 calories !!! What a good news!!

Monday, March 5, 2007

How much sex appeal do you have?

I was so damn bored today that I found out this :

You Are 80% Sexy

Your Sex Appeal Is: Extremely High

You're very sexy. You just have that certain something that takes over a room.
You know how to attract, entice, and keep whoever you want. You are truly appealing.


I just wish some guy out there will see it, so that I won't be so bored.

This is the link, if you wanna test your sexiness :
http://www.blogthings.com/howmuchsexappealdoyouhavequiz/outcome.php