How many calories you can burn in a day???

pssst... FYI, this is Italian Chandelier style


Taking off the clothes:
-With her permission: 12 cal
-Without her/his permission: 166 cal

Taking the bra off:-With both hands: 8 cal
-With one hand: 11 cal
-With one hand being slapped: 53 cal
-With the mouth: 91 cal (impossible for me to do it)

Putting on the condom:-With erection: 6 cal
-Without erection: 335 cal (this is a bit difficult, but can try)

Preliminaries:-Trying to find the clitoris: 14 cal
-Trying to find the G spot: 107 cal
-Without giving a damn: 0 cal

Positions:
-Missionary: 13 cal
-Doggie-Style: 19 cal
-69 lying down: 20 cal
-69 sanding up: 137 cal
-Hostess trolley: 223 cal
-Italian Chandelier: 934 cal (refer to picture above)

Having an orgasm:
-Real: 115 cal
-Fake: 404 cal (this is easy job)

Post orgasm:
-Staying in bed: 5 cal
-Jumping off the bed: 30 cal
-Explaining why you jumped off the bed: 894 cal

Getting the second errection:
-Between 16 and 19 years of age: 14 cal
-From 20 to 29: 36 cal
-From 30 to 39: 97 cal
-From 40 to 49: 376 cal
-From 50 to 59: 919 cal
-Over 60: 3623 cal

Putting on the clother:
-Quitely: 4 cal
-Hurriedly: 99 cal
-With her husband/wife opening the door: 5190 cal

Mean that I ll burnt about 11,744 calories !!! What a good news!!