11th Husband

A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband,

"Please be gentle, darling. I'm still a virgin... ".

"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

"Husband #2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was suppose to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

"Husband #3 was from Field Services; he said that everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

"Husband #4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

"Husband #5 was an Engineer, he understood the basic process but he wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state of the-art method.

"Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

"Husband #7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.

"Husband #8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it.

"Husband #9 was a Gynecologist; all he did was look at it.

"Husband #10 was a Stamp Collector; all he ever did was........ God I miss him so much.

"But now that I've married you, I'm so sexcited".

"Wonderful", said the husband, "but why?

"Coz you're with the GOVERNMENT.. This time I KNOW I'M gonna get SCREWED."

--------------- LOL -----------------------

The Merdeka Thought

Picture of Jalur Gemilang from http://4896kj.com/journeying


On the way home from sexercising.. oops.. it s exercising, there are so many bikers and cyclists flying their jalur gemilang (Malaysia Flag) on their vehicle, I saw one of them using the flag as his raincoat, as it was raining. Is this so called 'patriotic'? by wearing the flag? by flying flags on the vehicle and riding, or cyling without bother about other people safety? What is the patriotic elements in it when you did that? I have been pondering, and asked my friend who was sitting beside me in my car, her opinion about the independence day celebration. While we were chatting, we stopped at the traffic light when the light turned red.

A big group of motorbikes (you know, those bikers always wearing the leather jacket, and the bike's price is kancil's price) with flags on their bikes, the biker was wearing a uniform for Merdeka celebration, driving in a group cross the traffic light and all of a sudden, one of the bike had slowed down and a Proton Iswara behind of his bike, so eager to pass through the yellow light and 'banggg!!!" hit on the bike's end.

The ironic scene was the big bike was fine, only few scratches here and there and the biker slightly injurred but the Proton Iswara?? gosh.... it looked really bad. Like something hit it really bad on the front part of the car. If I didn't see it for myself, I wouldn't know that the car just hit a motorbike. This is the quality of our National Car, Malaysia boleh!!

Short Note

A one night stand, is it just a one night stand or is it possible that is a begin of an affair?

Let imagine this scenario, my boyfriend out of town for a business trip, and out of the blue, the old flame of mine called up and I invite him for a drink in my apartment. Two lonely heart meet together and he is currently remain single after left by his girl friend, after some chit chat and flirtation, it ended up.. in bed.

Another scenario, clubbing night with a group of old friends, everyone is feeling great after that third or fourth drink, when all of a sudden, the flirting gets a little out of hand. One thing leads to another, and before you know it, it ended up with sexual encounter.

Reason? For myself, I keep on having affair or one night stand is because I get bored with long term relationship. Maybe my needs for sex not meet when I am with him that caused me try to get another.

One of my friend asked, why we can't make marriage like an employment contract? Say, 5 years of contract, when we get bored with each other, we can terminate the contract and we carry on with our ways. One of the term and conditions of this contract is not to have children, and when the unexpect pregnancy occured, the contract considered void and both party can negotiate who to have the children (although woman who suffered the most).

What do you say??

I Am A Naughty Teaser

It was such a hot day. When I returned home, hot and sweaty from the heat of the day, make me wanted to soak in a cold water, so I decided to take a nice bath before it was time to go to the club. I put on Michael Bubbly CD on while I was soaking in the tub and sighing with pleasure. I added some flower fragrance of bubble bath in the water. The bath relaxed me, I let my arms float at beside me and my breast swelling up through a scented froth of bubbles. I closed my eyes and surrendered to the bliss of the music...

My handphone was on the countertop in my bathroom and it rang when I was enjoying my bubble bath. I frowned a bit at the interruption, and reached up to dry my hands on a towel, then took the phone. Hmmm.. it's William again. I wonder what he wants after so many nights I had with him and so long he had not called me.

"Hi! William, long time didn't hear from you, how are you..."

"I've been thinking about you a lot, are you free tonight?"

"Well, I have a date tonight, but I can talk to you on the phone now.."

"You'll never guess where I am now, William. Would you believe I'm in the bathtub? I'm lying here completely naked while I'm talking to you. Listen..." I splashed the water with my free hand and giggled.

"I'm taking a bubble bath. It feels sooooo good on my skin, so nice and slippery. I'm taking my hands and rubbing them all over me. Do you do that when you take a bath or a shower, William? Get all nice and slippery and rub your hands on yourself? I'll bet it feels good, doesn't it? It would be so nice if you were here with me - this could be your hand sliding all over my body..."

"Damn, I can't go to your place now, I am still in my office but that sounds so hot!"

"Bet you wish you were here, hmm? I wish you were..."

"I'd like that, I really love to be there, a lot." He said.

"Well, since we know each other for so long, do you mind doing me a favour.."

"Of course, my dear, I will do anything for you."

"Oh, good! This is what my best friend told me, you know how you guys have this little place on your turtle's head (in chinese, turtle's head is penis, me and William language), on the underside just below the head, where it feels really good to touch? I am curious, do you like to be touched there too?"

"Oh yes, I do, yes."

"Well, what happens is this: my friend told me her experience with her boy friend, she gets down between his legs, and with the tip of her tongue, just the very tip, she gives a little lick right on that spot, a soft little upward lick, barely touching him. It's supposed to feel really nice, she doesn't do anything else for about fifteen seconds. Then, she gives him another lick, just like the first - and waits another fifteen seconds. She keeps repeating that over and over, every fifteen seconds. Am I doing a good job describing it, William? Can you imagine what that would be like?"

"Ohhh god, yesss..."

"The thing is, I can't see how he'd be able to feel something that's so very soft and light, just like giving the turtle a saliva bath. Has your wife ever done something like that to you?"

"Uh, no, she doesn't do that to me at all..."

"Well, maybe you can just use your imagination - think about a girl giving you a delicate little tongue flick, so light that she was barely touching you. Do you think you'd actually be able to feel it? Would it feel good, do you think? Would you like that, dear?"

"Oh yes, oh yes..."

"I suppose it would be a kind of tantalizing pleasure, wouldn't it? Such a soft lick wouldn't be enough - it would just make you need more. I guess that's the idea, to make you need more, then make you wait for it. I bet your turtle now would be throbbing and getting harder and harder while you were waiting for the next lick. You think that's how it would be, honey?"

"Ohhhhhhhhhhh..."

"And imagine it going on and on, with you getting harder and harder, aching for the next lick. I bet you would try counting off the seconds in your mind, but you'd be sure to go too fast. When you got to fifteen nothing would happen and you'd feel so anxious - and then all of a sudden she'd give you another lick, catching you by surprise, and it would feel so good - but now you'd have to wait a whole fifteen seconds for the next one. It'd probably drive you crazy, huh?"

"Oh god, it would, ohhhh."

"Well, I want to be sure. Maybe we can do a little experiment, OK? Please?"

"Y-yes..."

"OK. Well, first your turtle has to be hard - I'll wait for you to get ready."

"It - it's hard now, as hard as wood now... you bad, what are you trying to do, I am in the office now.."

"But you are in your room. Ohh.. you want me to stop now?" I giggled

"For god sake, please don't.."

"Hm... Well, good - now put a finger in your mouth and get it good and wet. Ready?"

"Uh?? Ok, ready now."

"OK - now get ready to touch yourself in that cute little spot, but wait for me to say touch. Use just the very tip of your wet finger. Imagine your finger is my tounge..."

"OK..."

"Now - touch! How was that, William, did it feel good? I hope you did it lightly, just like a feather. But now you have to wait, remember - no more touching until I say so. Oh! I guess I have to count now, don't I? OK - 1, 2, 3 ..."

I grinned to myself, imagining William straining over his hard-on, waiting for permission to repeat the touch. I found it exciting to think about the state I got him into.

"4, 5, 6 ..."

"7, 8, 9 ..."

"10, 11, 12 ..."

I slowed down - "13 ... 14 ... 15 ... touch," I whispered softly.

"Hunh - ahhh..." William gasped at his next touch.

"Mmmm, it sounds like you like that, is it really good? I hope so!"

I could tell that William was getting quite turned on now, and I knew I had him hooked - the longer he stayed on the line the more I would tantalize him and excite him.

"1, 2, 3 ... but this is only pretend, you know, it's not exactly like the real thing. You know what I mean?"

"Y-yes..."

"4, 5, 6 ... I mean, if I were actually there between your legs doing it to you, you'd feel my warm breath on you while you were waiting."

"Mmmmmmmmmm"

"7, 8, 9 ... maybe I'd even blow on you a little just to make it more interesting. Would that be good? Would warm puffs of air feel good on your turtle? Tell me, baby..."

"Ohhhh yes, so good, so good, ohhhhh..."

"10, 11, 12 ... and you know what? I bet my warm, wet tongue would probably feel very different from your finger. I think it would feel a lot better, don't you, honey?"

"Oh my god, oh yes, oh yes..."

"13, 14, 15 - of course, the really big difference, William, is that I'm going to do this to my boyfriend, not to you." Thinking of his wife, I said so just to make him upset .

"Ohhhh my god, ohhhh no, ohhhh please..." Seems like he didnt hear me at all ...

"Touch."

I heard him going absolutely berserk now, I let him go for a few seconds, I don't want him to cum eyet I had more plans for him tonight.

"Wait, William - don't cum yet sweetie! Honey - are you there?"

"Ohhh - uh-huh..."

"Is your turtle still hard, you haven't cum, have you?"

"No ... almost ... stopped when you said ... why can't I - ohhhh it feels so good, I'm so hard..."

"Listen, I want you to keep it nice and hard. You can touch it now and then, but just enough to keep it excited. Look down at your turtle, William - is it nice and hot and stiff for me?"

"Oh yes, it's so hard, it's twitching, I want ... oh god this is driving me crazy!"

"Aw, I know, poor baby! Now, William, just calm down sweetie, and listen to me. What I want you to do is keep your turtle all ready for me, and later tonight come down to the club."

"The club at Bangsar, tonight?"

"Yes, sweetie, "

"Ohh yes, I ... ohhhhh ...."

"You're not stroking yourself now, are you? You're not allowed to cum, remember - I want your turtle to be hard and full when you come see me tonight. When you walk in and sit down I want you to be already worked up and feeling sooo frustrated! I am going to wear the tight short skirt, you said it reveals my long slender sexy legs... Just think, I'm going to tease and tantalize you something awful, while you sit there panting and not allowed to touch yourself, not able to get any relief. Think about it, William, you enjoy suffering like that, don't you?"

"Oh my god, yessss, ohhh I need it so bad, please..."

"So, no more touching, I see you tonight. Bye bye, honey - here's a little kiss until tonight, a little kiss for you-know-where!"

I smiled, and hung up.

Your Place or Mine?

“Your place or mine?” He asked. Before I could answer, the costume I bought that still keep unwrapped flashed into my mind.

"Honey, can I get something in my car, I have a surprise for you."

"Sure baby, hmm.. what is it?"

"You will know it later but not now.." I grinned to him.

He drove to his apartment and while we go up to his apartment, riding the elevator with both tension and expectation in the air as I planned how to play out his fantasy. I become more and more excited and he can saw it from my eyes and hugged me even closer.

For men sex is a reaction. Put the right stimulus in front of him and he's ready for sex in a matter of seconds but its totally different for women, sex for us is a decision. After we decide to be involved in sex, our body takes several minutes to prepare of sexual union. (By the way, do guys care about this anyway??!!)

“Can I shower before you, I have a surprise for you and I need to get ready before you” And I can see his body react in a second after I told him this.

It all started off well, within minutes I was kneeling on the floor with my costume on. The sexy maid costume (as the picture shown, bought online at the the saxy club) He seemed like he was in heaven, breathing so fast, grinding his hips against my mouth, grabbing his his fully erected weapon to my mouth. (See? I told you, man easily get sexcited)

But then the problems started. After the blow job and foreplay, we moved into the bed, I got out some new lube to try out on him (also got it at the same store). After a while we got a condom and he penetrated me. Straightaway he said he was gonna cum, so I asked him to stop moving so it would give me time to catch up. A moment later I started to sit on him, but then he lost his erection and he pulled out of me.

I whipped the condom off and sucked him, tried to get him erected again. It took a while for him to get a response, but eventually he reached for another condom. And he lost it with number two within seconds. (Now I know some guys have problems with condoms) So I suggest trying out one of my condoms (durex feather lite, which always had it in my bag for emergency use). We try that and for a moment, it all looks good: he is thrusting away inside me, I am wet as hell and minutes away from climaxing. And then he pulls out again, apologises for his off performance and we lie next to each other cuddling.

I won't pretend to him that I wasn't disappointed. (Of course I was, it's been couple of months that I didn't had sex and this is what I got after starving for so long???) And I was lying there with a soaking wet aheemmm.. that needed filling up. I tried not to be bitchy and told him to relax and not to worry about it. I stroked his chest and kissed him back gently on his mouth.

And we lay there for a while, then he said he was going to make a move. His behaviour doesn't surprise me, but it does annoy me. What the heck? Leaving me all alone like this?? Will I never learn?

Another Short Note

I have just finished chatting to one of my cyberlovers, to be more precise, a long lost cyberlovers. He got my first nude video and my first nude picture. Some of you guys might say, lucky dude, what he has to deserve this. Ya man, he is lucky. This is the first and the last time ever I do this.

Stop nonsense about the nude thingy. He said because of me, he wants to transfer back to his hometown, so that our distance is nearer. Just imagine, I need to fly to HK to see him. I wonder what he would say if I confessed that he's not the only one that I had sex with?? haha.. he doesn't know the dirty things I had done, so many ONS that I had with different guys, but who cares? He is just one of my ONS

Quote of The Day

People who are good looking always seem to think that something better will come along and therefore never want to commit to anybody for longer then they have to, for fear that there just may be someone more suited ie: hotter, sexier

One Night Stand End

This is an article I pick from one of the sex tips website :

# The main rule of one night stand end is as follows: the partners say to each other good bye, as easily as they said hallo. And there are some other rules that if followed will make your parting easier and more pleasant.

Do you really think you need to know what her name is? Do you think he/she needs the same? Sweetie, Honey, Dear will be quite enough.

Try to wake up before her/him. This will help you avoid such foolish questions like "Did you like it?" "Would you like a cup of tea?" "What about going to movies at night?" No morning coffee, no romantic talks, nothing that reminds of peaceful family relationships. But who knows what a one night stand can turn into.#

OK, I got it, this is what ONS suppose to be, no emotional string attached, no hard feeling, just sex.

What's your opinion on this?

Alternative Usage of Condom

Good tips for those who have plenty of condoms to use ;)

Short Note

Will be away for few weeks, been busy and out of stock for one night stand, anybody interested? inquire within

ONS Short Note

It's been a crazy week. Travelling to up north and from east coast to west coast really drives me crazy. Nope, none of ONS happened and no mood for that at all. So, don't expect to see anymore ONS for a week or two, coz I will be damn bz with my work.

Flirt SMS

#Kisses blown are kisses wasted
Kisses are not kisses unless they are tasted
Kisses spread germs and germs are hated
but you can kiss me baby i am vaccinated #

#A peach is a peach.
A plum is a plum.
A kiss aint a kiss unless its with tongues
So open ur mouth & close your eyes & give your tongue some exercise#

#Do you know that you would look great with two pounds less ...
in my opinion those clothes weigh exactly two pounds!#

#God made butter,
God made cheese;
God made you for me to squeeze.

God made whiskey,
God made Pepsi
and when he made you he made you SEXY! #


#Kissing you baby is my dream
I am the strawberry and you re the cream
Handle me gentle, keep me real keen
You and I together babes, the passion is so extreme!#

Pole Dancing

Pole dancing is a form of dancing or gymnastics that takes muscular endurance and coordination as well as sensuality. It requires dancing sensually with a vertical pole and it is often used in strip club and gentlemen's club. I'm interested in this pole dancing and taking my lessons well (I hope). Here some of the pictures I would like to share with you how pole dancing looked like.















Anyone want to see me dance? I can do it privately too!!

THREE ANSWERS MOST SCARED BY MEN

1. Whatever

Men: What to have for dinner?
Women: Whatever..
Men: Why not we have steamboat?
Women: Don't want la, eat steamboat later got pimples on my face
Men: Alright, why not we have Si Chuan cuisine
Women: Yesterday ate Si Chuan, today eat again?
Men: Hmm..... I suggest we have seafood
Women: Seafood no good la, later I got diarrhea
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women : Whatever..

2. Anything

Men: So what should we do now?
Women: Anything
Men: How about watching movie? Long time we didn't watch movie
Women: Watching movie no good la, waste time only
Men: How about we play bowling, do some exercises?
Women: Exercise in such hot day? You not feel tired meh?
Men: Then find a café and have drink
Women: Drink coffee will affect my sleep
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women: Anything


3. You decide

Men: Then we just go home lo
Women: You decide
Men: Let take bus, I will accompany you
Women: Bus is dirty and crowded. Don't want la
Men: Ok we will take Taxi
Women: Not worth it la... for such a short distance
Men: Alright, then we walk lo. Take a slow walk
Women: What to walk with empty stomach woh?
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women: You decide
Men: Let's have dinner first
Women: Whatever...
Men: Eat what?
Women: Anything
Men: (Look around, see see and look look... no one here, better kill her now, or else she ll give me lot of headache in future)

Love Poem 2

Her Truth

When my hands caress
the gentle forms of her poetry
I want to communicate
in a language other than words -
Words tumble violently
Into nothingness.
Her poetry is all I understand.
She is my sun.

I do not know how else to tell her
she is beautiful.
She folds into shyness
upon my revelation.
Her poetry evokes
a thousand searing emotions
in me.
Alas, she knows not her truth
That burns my lips
and keeps my restless oceans
at bay

Love Poem 1

My travels to xxx to be with you

I recall
the days when
The stars glide slowly past.
The milky night welcomes me
As I settle into the cavernous beast
Watching a thousand words file past
to bridge the distance between
Our restless hearts
If just for an instant.

Searching for air
Outside,
the darkness seals me in.
Molecules swirl impatiently
As wistful shadows of Malaya look back at me;
smudges of dim lights
on the window pane
race past me helplessly.

My steel-cold compartment
Moves deeper into the land,
Closer to you.
Come sleep
Into the darkness
And let me trace your heartbeat now
Let the soft lines of your skin
Pull me into sleep, sleep, sleep.

Then darkness.
It hastens the rise
of the xxx morning sun
and I rise to search
for your sweet clean face
in the tiny sea of unwashed humanity.

A Resignation Letter

Dear Boss,

You know why I want to resign?

Since I worked for you, I have no time to blog anymore.
When I don’t have time to blog anymore, my readers hates me.
When my readers hate me, they don’t visit my blog anymore.
When they don’t visit my blog anymore, my hits drop.
When my hits drop, I become unhappy.
When I become unhappy, I will eat a lot.
When I eat a lot, I will get fat.
When I get fat, it will affect your company’s image.
When your company’s image is affected, your business no good.
When your business no good, you become unhappy.
When you become unhappy, you eat a lot, like me.
When you eat a lot, I’m afraid you will become fat, like me

You see, boss. It’s a vicious cycle. I did everything for your own good, because I care for you, boss.

So, the conclusion is, I want to resign, please let me go la..


Yours cheesily,

Cheeky_me

A Letter To Sumone

Over and over again, I am considering whether I should accept your proposal. You are such a nice person, it’s me who is not good enough for you.

I am just a woman with a heavy baggage, and no one willing to share my baggage with me.

No matter how many love poems you had written, no matter how many times of proposal you had made, no matter how many times you told me you love me, it’s not enough to mend and to heal the scattered heart, not anymore…

Don’t waste your time on me, don’t put your hope on me, I am going to let you down. I had said no for the first time and I am going to say it again.


Just let me be what I want to be and we both move on, different path and different way

Which Part Will Turn U On?

I found this picture lying in my inbox, Map to Heaven, lol

Surprisingly, it only tells half of the true story. Why is that? Maybe it`s because not every part of the "map' fits every women! That may be your first hint guys. We are all different, what works on one women will make another women slap your face with disgust.

Some women love a very passionate kiss. A passionate kiss can be an instant orgasm. Women love to feel the sensation of your breathe on thier skin. That will surely send her to a new level of sensations.

Women have very sensitive backs. A women's spine will tingle with the slightest touch of your finger tips.

Kiss her shoulder, kiss her belly, kiss and nibble her ear, kiss her thighs and between her legs

She will be warm already, anticipating the sensation of your tongue!

And another thing about breast or boobs (ya, you guys love that the most, I know). Women do vary with having their breasts played with. This should be done gently at first, so to not turn her off. Some women love a very passionate kiss. A passionate kiss can be an instant orgasm.

Talk sweet words to her ears, listen to her moans when you caress her, read her body language, feel her wetness and please show your anticipation by at least tell your feeling when she is trying hard to please you.

Got me?? Got the hints?? even with the clothes on, you still able to turn a woman on, as long as you know her sensitive spot.

Vacancy

In line with expansion of my ONS experiences, cheeky_me seek for candidates who fits below requirements :

1. Must be a man
2. Age above 30 years old


Special Requirement of ONS Partner
1. Above 175cm of height
2. Not more than 75kg of weight
3. Attractive outlook
4. Good skill in 69 position
5. A good teaser
6. At least 6" long (hmm... u guys know wat i mean here)






Special Requirement of Husband
1. Brave
2. Intelligent
3. Gentle
4. Polite
5. Energetic
6. Nutty
7. Industrious
8. Sensitive
And if all else fails, well….. read the CAPITAL LETTERS only.


Pls enquire within.

Shower Test

When you step into a shower, which part
of the body do you wash first?

Please select a body first?

A. Chest
B. Face
C. Armpits
D. Hair
E. Privates
F. Shoulders
G. Others



Now Scroll Down To See What Your Answer Means.



























A. Chest:
You are a practical person. Straightforward and do not beat around
the bush. To you, convenience is of paramount importance. You hate to
be distracted when concentrating and are impatient with people who
do not see things your way. A good sex partner and willing to try new
things. Your best partner in life will be those who choose D (Hair).





B. Face:
Money is important to you and you will do anything to get it.
Integrity and dignity is not important. You feel that friends are
there to be used and life is one big hassle. Other people find it hard
to understand you, but you are not concerned as to what they think.
Very self-centered person. Average sex partner as too selfish and
tend to be absorbed in self pleasure at the expense of your partner.
Your best partner in life will be those who choose E (Privates)
and G (Others).






C. Armpits:
You are a dependable and hard working person. Generally very
popular person as you are very down to earth and willing to help
others. Tend to get yourself into trouble as you cannot tell whether
people are genuine towards you. Make very poor sex partners as you
are the working type with average talent. Your best partner in life
will be those who choose F (Shoulders).






D. Hair:
Artistic type. Daydreaming is your hobby, but you can achieve what
most other people cannot. Dedication is lacking, but you will work
tirelessly towards goals which are to your liking. Money is not
important. Friends are but only intellectuals and fellow artistic
types. Make the best sex partners as you are most willing to explore
and please ther other partner. Talent is your main strength. Your best
partner in life will be those who chose A (Chest) and E (Privates).






E. Privates:
Shy type. You lack self confidence and tend to be bullied by others.
You do not have lots of friends as others find you boring and
unattractive. Perserverance is not your strength and you tend to give
up easily and at the first opportunity. However, you make an above
average sex partner. You are able to show your true emotions to very
few people. Hence in sex, you find your inner strengths. Your best
sex partner in life will be those who choose B (Face) and D (Hair).



F. Shoulder:
A born loser. You fail in everything that you do. People dislike you
and you tend to spend your time alone. Your type have been known to
be heavy gamblers and drinkers. You see the world as a livin hell.
Money and power is also important to you. But your luck will always
fail you. You make a lousy sex partner. You will find it difficult to
find a partner in life. Those who choose C (Armpits) are your
only chance.



G. Others:
You are a very average person. Undoubtedly, you have your inner
strengths, but people find it hard to see. You must learn to be a little
bit more adventurous and see your potential. Deep down, you are very
likeable person with very few faults. However, the key will be to
make your strengts stand out and not just hide you weaknessess. You
are an average sex partner. You have great fantasies about different
techniques, but unfortunately are not brave enough to try them out.
Your best partner in life will be those who choose B (Face).

Pulau Perhentian Trip

Lazing all day in the hammock



Walking barefoot along the soft white sandy beach and crystal clear aqua blue water



It's raining
It's pouring
The old man is snoring
Bumped his head
And he went to bed
And he couldn't get up in the morning



The water taxis with no biz, just lying restlessly at the seashore

8 Types of Guys Women Avoid

Do you have a feeling that no matter how hard you tried but you still failed to impress the opposite sex? Have you ever wondered if the way you act makes women cringe? Have you ever worried that your behavior might be making them run in the other direction? Here are the tips for you guys, 8 types of guys that woman try to avoid (‘siam’ as far as she could)

1. The Needy Type
He has no confident on himself and relationship. He needs to reassurance about his companion feels for him and sometimes seems like a desperado. A woman found confidence and independence are sexy traits that attracted her, she needs security, she needs a shoulder to cry on, not her shoulder for the guy to cry on, so keep all these for yourself and don't reveal it until your relationship is stable.

2. The Arrogant Type
Guy with huge ego will definitely turned her down. A woman always observe and guy's personality from the way he treated other people. So even though you treated her well on date doesn't mean that she is fine with your arrogant, watch out!

3. The Boorish Type
How do you feel when you courting a woman and she kept staring at the handsome guy next to you in your presence? Irritating isn’t it. Same with the boorish guy, he doesn't try to hide the fact that he's checking out other women while in her presence; In facts, he flirts with any woman he met, the waitress when you were having dinner with him, the florist when he was buying flowers for you, his lacks of respect to woman is intolerable. Flirter cant restrain this kind of behavior permanently but at least on the stage of wooing woman, please don’t act like Valentino.

4. The Cheap-skate Type
I met this kind of guy before. We went to the hotel for one night stand and guess what, we go dutch for the room!! Oh man, he is disgracing his own species! Or maybe I am nor worth for him paying for me, sob... sob…
I am not complaining that I have to pay for my share but at least show the appreciation and be gentlemen mah. Yeah, guy is the one who did most of the hard work but sometimes I was at top did the hard work too and BJ service given not bad oso

5. The Self Righteous Type
This guy is hypercritical to others. He probably do not have any bad habits, and he does not hesitate to tell others to follow suit. Since you first meet withhim, he had criticising you from head to toe, and telling you that you shouldn’t do this, you shouldn’t do that.

6. The Arguer Type
As Chinese saying, 'Yin Kar Lou Chak', mean that enemies are bound to meet on a narrow road, one can't avoid one's enemy, this guy can turn every conversation into argument, what ever issue brought up will ended with arguments

7. The Predictable Type
Definitely a boring guy, there is no excitement in his life, everything is pre-set and predictable, he is living in a formula that created by himself and I tell you, you will get bored til you die

8. The Misogynist Type
He has no secret of his bitterness against woman, especially his ex, ex-ex and ex-ex-ex. Woman can't blame him for his misfortune but keep it to yourself when you are alone.

Even if you are one of the guy mentioned, don't stress out too much, as chinese saying, beauty is in the eye of beholder, don't worry too much, just keep this female unfriendly behaviours to minimum, and wish you all the best

Get Ready for One Night Stand

1. Keep yourself clean and hygienic, especially hairs, upper and lower. Shaved whatever need to be shaved and wash whatever to be waished.

2. Please wear matching bra and panties, just imagine when he gets turn on and drop your clothes and saw teddy bear panties with yellow polka dots bra

3. Bring along condoms with you. Don’t listen to the guy’s bullshit, less pleasure with condom? Go to hell!! Practice safe sex for your own sake

4. Relax and enjoy it my dear!! It’s just sex and you don’t have to commit anything, relax and enjoy every moment of it and moan as loud as you want to, sex is supposed to be pleasure and fun

5. You not fat stupid!! Don’t worry about your tummy or your cellulite, you had turned him on, why you worried of tiny part of your body?? Just be confident of your outlook and work hard to get the pleasure

And last but not least

6. Do remember his name other than uttered “oh my gawd”, “oh yeah””harder hun”, even tho you called the wrong name when you climax, they won’t mind, but for the courtesy of his hard work, at least know his name please and

7. If there’s a chance for one night stand blossomed to further relationship and you want to give it a try, get his farking phone number and call him the next morning!!

Good luck yea!!

How many calories you can burn in a day???

pssst... FYI, this is Italian Chandelier style


Taking off the clothes:
-With her permission: 12 cal
-Without her/his permission: 166 cal

Taking the bra off:-With both hands: 8 cal
-With one hand: 11 cal
-With one hand being slapped: 53 cal
-With the mouth: 91 cal (impossible for me to do it)

Putting on the condom:-With erection: 6 cal
-Without erection: 335 cal (this is a bit difficult, but can try)

Preliminaries:-Trying to find the clitoris: 14 cal
-Trying to find the G spot: 107 cal
-Without giving a damn: 0 cal

Positions:
-Missionary: 13 cal
-Doggie-Style: 19 cal
-69 lying down: 20 cal
-69 sanding up: 137 cal
-Hostess trolley: 223 cal
-Italian Chandelier: 934 cal (refer to picture above)

Having an orgasm:
-Real: 115 cal
-Fake: 404 cal (this is easy job)

Post orgasm:
-Staying in bed: 5 cal
-Jumping off the bed: 30 cal
-Explaining why you jumped off the bed: 894 cal

Getting the second errection:
-Between 16 and 19 years of age: 14 cal
-From 20 to 29: 36 cal
-From 30 to 39: 97 cal
-From 40 to 49: 376 cal
-From 50 to 59: 919 cal
-Over 60: 3623 cal

Putting on the clother:
-Quitely: 4 cal
-Hurriedly: 99 cal
-With her husband/wife opening the door: 5190 cal

Mean that I ll burnt about 11,744 calories !!! What a good news!!

How much sex appeal do you have?

I was so damn bored today that I found out this :

You Are 80% Sexy

Your Sex Appeal Is: Extremely High You're very sexy. You just have that certain something that takes over a room. You know how to attract, entice, and keep whoever you want. You are truly appealing.

How Much Sex Appeal Do You Have?

I just wish some guy out there will see it, so that I won't be so bored.

This is the link, if you wanna test your sexiness :
http://www.blogthings.com/howmuchsexappealdoyouhavequiz/outcome.php

My First One Night Stand

The very first experience was a payback for being abandoned by the irresponsible man. The prey was someone I knew from internet for few months and we decided to meet up.

Although I expected the ONS will happen, but the first time of ONS make me feel like a virgin (again!) as I don’t have much sexperience and he is the second man in my life after that irresponsible man.

The experience wasn’t as bad as I thought, the ONS had dragged to many many nights stand and last for almost 5 years. I thought he is the replacement after the irresponsible man but time proved that I am wrong, a mistake that worse than decided to have ONS. He is just hanging around me and didn’t show interest to have further commitment and finally I gave up, it’s time for me to leave him.

It reminds me one sad song that I heard before, it is quite similar to me, this is the lyric of the song:

On the quiet street in the city
A little old man walked alone
Shuffling through the autumn afternoon
And the autumn leaves reminded him
Another summer's come and gone
He had long lonely nights ahead waiting for June

Then among the leaves near an orphan's home
A piece of paper caught his eyes
And he stooped to pick it up with trembling hands
As he read the childish writing
The old man began to cry
'Cause the words burned inside him like a brand

"Whoever finds this, I love you
Whoever finds this, I need you
I ain't even got no one to talk to
So, whoever finds this, I love you!"

Well, the old man's eyes searched the orphan's home
And came to rest upon a child
With her nose pressed up against the window pane
And the old man knew he'd found a friend at last
So he waved at her and smiled
And they both knew they'd spend the winter
Laughing at the rain

And they did spend the winter laughing at the rain
Talking through the fence
Exchanging little gifts they've made for each other
The old man would carve toys
And the little girl would draw pictures of beautiful ladies for him
And they laughed a lot

But then one day on the first of June
The little girl ran to the fence... the old man wasn't there
And, somehow she knew he was never coming back
So she went back to her little room
took a crayon, And wrote

"Whoever finds this, I love you
Whoever finds this, I need you
I ain't even got no one to talk to
So, whoever finds this, I love you!"